She Said Yes: The Unlikely Martyrdom of Cassie Bernall (She Said Yes) is the story of seventeen-year-old Cassie Bernall, a victim of the Columbine High School shooting that also claimed twelve other lives. On April 20, 1999, Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris opened fire on their classmates killing twelve students and one teacher.
The book is written by Cassie’s mother, Misty Bernall, and published on January 1, 2002 by Plough Publishing House. Misty lives in Littleton, Colorado with her husband Brad.
Misty’s story talks about the day two heavily armed teens stormed their high school killing as many people as they could. Allegedly, Eric Harris put a gun to Cassie’s head and asked her if she believed in God. When she answered yes, Harris laughed before pulling the trigger.
Cassie was hailed a martyr worldwide but there is more to Cassie’s story that makes it remarkable. Approximately three years earlier, Cassie herself planned to murder a teacher at her school and threatened suicide. Misty details her daughter’s dramatic transformation and all that led up to Cassie’s last day and those final heroic words.
Misty writes a fascinating memoir about an ordinary teen growing up in suburban Colorado. Cassie is faced with the pressures and hard choices that all teens face. However, Cassie was once filled with hatred and a simmering rage and might have been on a similar path as that of her killer. Through a family’s love and her faith, Cassie was able to find her way clear of the anger and negative emotions that once consumed her.
Misty’s even-handed account describes a girl who was once in crisis. For a time, Cassie had been an outsider in school. She gravitated towards goth culture and appeared for all intents an outcast. Misty tells how she and Brad found disturbing letters in their daughter’s room that spoke of occult spells, strong sexual content, an admission of wanting to help kill a friend’s teacher, and a friend’s advising Cassie to kill her own parents. There were shocking visuals included in the findings. Misty and Brad were horrified. Cassie and her friend, Mona, were writing these grisly letters back and forth to one another, as Misty later learned from Mona’s mother.
Misty and Brad were shocked to realize that there was a side to Cassie’s life that they knew nothing about, though there had been signs since the fifth grade. Cassie had been identifying less and less with her parents and latching onto Mona at the exclusion of her other friends. Their attempts to limit Cassie’s contact with Mona was met with resistance.
After what was found in Cassie’s room, Misty and Brad decided to take stronger measures. They contacted Mona’s mother, the sheriff, and their pastor. The letters were turned over to the sheriff. When confronting Cassie with their discovery, she became extremely angry. She felt that her privacy had been violated and stated then that her parents did not love her. She threatened to run away and commit suicide. Cassie’s parents were undeterred, continuing their course, meeting with Mona’s parents at the sheriff’s office and initiating a restraining order against Mona from further contact with Cassie, a strategy endorsed by the sheriff. Mona’s parents however were hostile towards Misty and Brad, and Misty learns later that if Cassie ran away, Mona’s parents planned to take her in.
The next several months were difficult. Cassie was removed from public school and enrolled in a private Christian school. Misty and Brad put restrictions on her activities. They moved to a smaller home in the hopes of keeping their daughter away from her former friends.
Cassie met a friend at private school named Jamie. Misty’s first impressions of Jamie were wary. She did not believe that she would be a positive influence on her daughter. She describes her as looking like the kind of person she was trying to get Cassie away from. Misty was uncomfortable with Jamie’s short, bleached hair, oversized chains around her neck, and grungy clothing that looked like it came from a Goodwill store. However, this was one time where looks were deceiving.
Jamie invited Cassie to a youth retreat sponsored by her church. It was this retreat that provided the impetus to turn Cassie’s life around. When Cassie’s parents picked her up, she told them that she felt changed. She did not think that they believed her but she was determined to prove it. Misty was skeptical, but she recalls later that Cassie was indeed a different person afterwards, not perfect but different. She still had normal struggles but Misty and Brad were spared the intense drama of the past. Cassie’s final two years were uneventful.
Jamie later confided to Misty that Cassie’s violent fantasies were more than just thoughts. Cassie was overcome with a dark need to give her soul to Satan. After Jamie’s admission, Misty felt vindicated for the recent decisions she and Brad had made for their daughter’s welfare.
At the end of summer in 1999, Misty and Brad permitted Cassie to transfer to Columbine High School. Cassie was still active in her youth group and was moved by the readings on discipleship that the group was studying. The Cassie that faced her killer on that day was very different than the troubled girl she had been.
The story has its share of critics and has been outed as a myth. Misty is said to have written the book just weeks after Cassie died, and that she therefore could not possibly have had all the details surrounding her daughter’s last moments. Also, there is the question of how she could possibly authenticate the conversation between her daughter and her killer.
The narrative has been deemed false, and there was a major dispute over what was said that day in the school’s library where Cassie’s body was found. Although she was in fact tragically murdered, the martyr story was not an accurate accounting. As time went by, the story moved beyond Cassie herself and became a religious rally cry. The martyr’s story held. Misty’s goal was to show what God’s grace can do when it matters most. Her goal was not to elevate Cassie to martyrdom but to show a courageous girl whose faith allowed her to face her killer with dignity and grace.