If You Could Be Mine

Iranian-American author Sara Farizan’s debut novel If You Could Be Mine (2013) is a young-adult, romantic fiction. Set in Iran, the story revolves around the forbidden lesbian love affair between best friends Sahar and Nasrin, two young Iranian women struggling to win their families’ approval and deal with their country’s oppressive traditions. As the two women continue to love each other in secret, matters are complicated when Nasrin’s parents arrange for her to marry an unknown man. Desperate to remain together, Sahar may be willing to sacrifice her own body by undergoing sex reassignment surgery so that she can legally marry Nasrin as a man. If You Could Be Mine won the Lambda Literary Award for LGBT Children’s/Young Adult Novels, was listed as one of Rolling Stone’s 40 Best YA Novels, a 2014 ALA Rainbow List Top 10 Title, a Booklist Top 10 First Novels for Youth 2013, and a Chicago Public Library Best of the Best 2013.

Narrated in the first person by seventeen-year protagonist Sahar, the story begins in Tehran, Iran. Sahar is in love with her best friend, Nasrin, who has felt the same about Sahar since they were six. However, since homosexuality is punishable by death in Iran, they must keep their feelings for one another a secret and only show intimacy in private. Sahar is a shy, studious girl, while the outgoing Nasrin fancies becoming a Bollywood entertainer. As the novel begins, Sahar’s father takes her to a party at Nasrin’s house, unaware that it’s an engagement celebration. Nasrin’s parents have arranged for her to marry Reza, a medical student with a high social status. Sahar is distraught, while Nasrin hides her emotions. When asked, Sahar claims her sadness comes from the prospect of not seeing Nasrin anymore.

Sahar’s gay older cousin, Ali, knows about Sahar and Nasrin’s secret relationship. To cheer her up, Ali invites Sahar to a party at his house. The party is wild and uncomfortable for Sahar, who meets Parveen, a transgendered woman, as well as Farshad, a large security guard. Sahar also meets a pimp and prostitute called Mother and Daughter. Sahar leaves the party early, but first befriends Parveen. Sahar asks Parveen how to undergo a sex-change operation, as she wonders if life in Iran would be easier as a man. Yet, Sahar decides she’d rather change society instead of her own body.



Nasrin is arrested for exposing her elbow in public. She and Sahar are thrown in the back of a police car and threatened with violence, rape, and imprisonment. Nasrin panics, but when Sahar sees Farshad is one of the enforcers, she remains calm. Farshad discharges the two girls into an alleyway and tells them to meet Ali at Restaurant Javan. While at the restaurant, Sahar notices a flamboyant side of Ali she had never seen before.

Parveen takes Sahar to a support group for gender reassignment patients. Although she feels out of place, Sahar considers transitioning to a man as the only way to legally love Nasrin. Meanwhile, Nasrin and Reza’s wedding is fast approaching. As the time draws near, Sahar becomes more desperate. She is found trying on her father’s clothing, raising suspicion among her family. She goes dress shopping with Nasrin, during which Nasrin’s mother, Mrs. Mehdi, implores Sahar not to be jealous of Nasrin and to remain a good friend to her daughter even through a bad marriage. Later, during a party at Nasrin’s house, the two girls try to obtain incriminating evidence against Reza to stop the wedding, but fail to do so.

Sahar returns to the support group. Those who’ve undergone sex reassignment ensure Sahar truly wants to undergo the procedure. Sahar reaffirms her decision, and Parveen makes an appointment for Sahar with the same doctor who operated on her. When word gets out, Sahar is met with dissuasion. Ali informs Sahar that Nasrin will not love Sahar as a man, trying to talk her out of having the operation. At the support group, others warn Sahar of the intense pain and trauma the reassignment can cause, questioning whether her motives are pure. All the while, Sahar barely mentions the surgery, and does not inform Nasrin that she plans to undergo the procedure. At the hospital, Sahar recognizes the surgeon’s assistant as Reza, dashing her dreams of reassignment surgery. Her secret plan is no more.



As she cries in despair, Sahar is brought to Ali’s by Mother and Daughter. Ali has been badly beaten by Farshad, who doubles as Ali’s doorman. Having forbidden Farshad from being with Parveen, Ali lashes out at Farshad, exposeing Ali’s status and endangering his life. Ali decides to flee the country, asking Sahar to go with him. Sahar declines, urging Ali to take Daughter instead.

As the wedding approaches, Sahar and Nasrin go sightseeing together and share an intimate moment to say goodbye to one another. During the wedding ceremony, Mrs. Mehdi admits she knows that Nasrin and Sahar are secret lovers. She admits to arranging Nasrin’s marriage to Reza to protect Nasrin from the harsh anti-gay laws in Iran. Mrs. Mehdi explains that she would rather see her daughter grow old in a loveless marriage than die as a teenager for a forbidden love affair.

While attending university six months after the wedding, Sahar is frantically approached by Reza. Reza tells Sahar that hysterical, Nasrin has locked herself in a bathroom, and only Sahar can reach her. Upon entry, Nasrin tells Sahar that she is pregnant. Nasrin is devastated because she wants to raise the baby with Sahar, without a husband. Sahar explains that this cannot be, but promises to always be there for Nasrin. In the end, despite their forbidden love, Sahar vows to remain in Nasrin’s life as her best friend and baby’s aunt.