37 pages 1 hour read

Henry Cloud, John Townsend

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No To Take Control of Your Life

Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 1992

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Important Quotes

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“Made in the image of God, we were created to take responsibility for certain tasks. Part of taking responsibility, or ownership, is knowing what is our job, and what isn’t.”


(Part 1, Chapter 1, Page 23)

This passage represents Boundaries’ two-part foundational premise. Firstly, every human being is made in the image of God. Secondly, humans’ purpose as created beings is to understand how to live their own lives as individuals with individual responsibilities.

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“Any confusion of responsibility and ownership in our lives is a problem of boundaries.”


(Part 1, Chapter 1, Page 23)

When people are uncertain about how to differentiate between their own issues and others’ issues, they are in essence uncertain how to set boundaries in their life. This confusion is not rooted in culture or an oppressive system, but an individual problem with understanding boundaries.

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“Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where I end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership.”


(Part 1, Chapter 2, Page 27)

According to the authors, people’s sense of self is determined by their boundaries. The more people understand themselves, their wants and needs, the more they are able to establish healthy boundaries in their lives.